Wishing After Death
by Chut Up Bushes
Summary: Set after Chosen, everything happened as it did. Anya finds herself in some kind of heavenhell. There, she finds Tara, and together they both make wishes that they could go back in time to stop some of the horrible things that happened.


Wind whipped her face, a chill ran through her body. Anya examined the landscape around her. Where was she? I mean, obviously, she was dead, she knew that, but cringed at the thought. Dead. She was here, though, walking around in some deserted plain, with fog and emptiness, and what the hell was she wearing?

She looked down at her outfit, and instead of finding the bloody blouse and pants she had died in, she was wearing a long, pale blue dress, almost the color of the ring around the moon every night. The bottom of her dress skimmed the ground gently, and seemed luminescent, as if not really there at all. Anya took the focus of her stupid dress (it really wasn't her color) and took small steps, daring to venture further into the unfamiliar, lonely plain surrounding her.

What was that? She cocked her head. It was a laugh, Xander's laugh. She looked around her, searched everywhere with her eyes. Anya stopped when her eyes rested on him, he was just standing about fifteen feet away, laughing into the air, as if in response to something someone had said, but there was no one there. She ran to him. "Xander!" The first word she had spoken since she died. It sounded almost like an echo, as if not even real, haunting. Anya realized it didn't even sound like her voice. Xander didn't flinch at the sound of his name, didn't even turn the least bit in her direction. She finally reached him, and stood there, studying him for a while. She finally outstretched her arm, but as soon as it reached Xander, it just wavered there, it passed right through him. All of a sudden, he was no longer there. Good, Anya thought to herself, Xander's alive, and I'm just imagining him. But secretly, she had wished that he, too, had died in that last battle, just so she could find some joy in being dead.

She sighed, and continued walking, she didn't know where to, because obviously this stupid place didn't go anywhere. She heard a mutter to her left, a slight mumble that she recognized. Anya turned to her left to find Giles sitting on a chair. He was leaned over a book, rubbing his forehead, deep in thought. He leaned back against the chair and took off his glasses, biting the tip of it as he always had. Anya smiled, then stepped closer. "Giles?" She ran to him, and threw her arms around… air. She was hugging air. How ridiculous that must look. But to who really? There was no one really here. Suddenly, it began to dawn on her that she might be in hell. She was being tortured, seeing the people she loved, then learning they're not really real. But, no. She thought, this can't be hell. There are no bunnies. So she kept walking, thinking.

She must have been doing that, exactly, walking and thinking, when she heard a gentle humming. She followed the sound with her ears, curious as to what it was. There was… a tree! A actual tree! Leaning against the tree was Tara. Anya sighed. Not again, she thought, she's not real. She walked up to the tree and looked at the unreal Tara, who was humming and carefully studying a leaf. Anya sank down, and so did Tara. At the same time, they both said, "Not again." Then they looked at each other, with widened eyes, and startled, backed up. There was awkward silence for a few moments, until Anya broke it. "Oh my god," she said, slapping her forehead, "I forgot you were dead!" The way it came out, Tara laughed. She walked slowly, cautiously up to Anya as if expecting it was a trick, then touched her arm. "You're real… you're dead. Oh my god!" Tara exclaimed, "W-w-what happened?"

"The First is what happened, you didn't notice?"

"Well," Tara responded, "I don't really know what goes on, I just, you know, see people sometimes, but it's weird, not knowing if some people are dead or not. Wait, the First? The First Evil?"

"Yes," Anya nodded, "The First became big and macho, and there was this whole crowd of Ubervamps down in the basement. Buffy's plan was to make every girl as strong as her, the slayer with some spell Willow did. So we could all fight or something like that. Everyone left town, it was only us. I could have if I wanted to, but I didn't, and I'm not exactly sure why. Because it was pretty stupid to stay."

"Yeah, it was," Tara said, looking at Anya.

"Hey, no fair! Only I can say if I'm stupid or not… oh my god." Anya suddenly stopped.

"What?" Tara questioned, looking at her perplexed.

"My last word in life was _bunnies_." At this comment of Anya's, Tara burst out laughing. Her face turned red, tears started rolling down her cheeks. She was now on the ground, practically exploding from laughter. Anya just stared at her, angered at her laughter.

"It is _not _funny! I think my last word should have been more dignified, at least. Uh! Where _are _we anyway?" Anya randomly changed subjects.

"Uh, I know we're not in hell, and I don't think it's heaven, either. But we're somewhere…" Tara attempted answering.

"Well, why aren't I in hell?" Anya questioned, confused.

"Yeah," Tara replied with a peculiar look on her face, "Why aren't you?"

"I _did _die saving… Andrew? I died saving Andrew? Wow. I died saving Andrew."

"Andrew? That kid from the geek trio? You died saving him? I would never though you'd die saving anybody, never mind _him_." Tara yelled, surprised.

"God, Tara, I'm not _that _heartless. I would save Xander or maybe Giles and I guess some of the _other _people, too. And wake up. Andrew was part of the geek trio that killed you. Or at least Warren did. Then Andrew killed his best friend Jonathon and we held him hostage. And we were fighting in the hallway, and I saw this huge ugly ubervamp coming strait at him, so I turned my back on the one behind me and killed the one about to kill Andrew. And then the one behind me killed me."

"Wow," Tara gawked, "That's a whole lot of killing."

"Yeah, I guess so. I just wish that I had died in a better life. I mean, I would give anything to go back in time to change a lot of the things that happened."

"Yeah," Tara said, "Me, too. I mean, Willow and I had gotten off to a good start, and then it ended. I wish I had never left her in the first place."

"I'd give just about anything to turn back time."


End file.
